So, every time I watch something on Hulu.com (free tv streaming website) because I don't have cable, I have the choice of watching one long commercial at the beginning, or several short commercials throughout. I always choose the long commercial at the beginning because I was the kind of kid who ate the lame Halloween candy first. Thanks, Becky, for teaching my that discipline. So anyway, the commercial that plays is this 3 minute commercial for the Nuva Ring--that creepy ring you stick in your vadge that leeches out hormones and acts as birth control. How sexy is that? "Yeah baby, go ahead--oh wait, hold on, let me take this ring of hormones out of my vagina. Oh yeah, it lives there. You like it?" Okay, totally weird and gross. But anyway, in this commercial, there is a table of "real women" talking about why the Nuva Ring is so great. They are all talking about certain "real-life situations" where the pill caused them problems. You know, they dropped the pill on the subway and they had to take it because of their ten-minute window that they had to take their pill! And God forbid they skip a pill and just use condoms for 7 days! Okay ladies, I know condoms aren't preferable, but one fucking week?! Are you really having so much sex that you can't go a week with condoms? And if you are having that much sex, one week should be NOTHING amongst your sex-filled life! Guess what a condom is sexier than? A FUCKING NUVA RING, that's what!
Aside from that, did you know that you have a 12-hour window to take your pill before it is considered a "missed" pill? Does this woman really think that if she misses this ten-minute window, her ovaries are going to be like, "YES! Now is our chance! GO!" COME ON......come on!!! And how hard is it to remember to take a pill? Do you forget to brush your teeth? Do you need an alarm for that? Do you have to put a post-it on your bathroom mirror that says "Brush your teeth." If so, you are gross. I have been on the pill for about 3.5 years now, and I don't remember ever just "forgetting" to take it. Except for that one time that I needed to get pregnant so that my boyfriend wouldn't break up with me. Yes, I am implying that women don't "forget" to take their pill and get pregnant. Watch Glee, boys and girls. Bitches be crazy.
Okay, birth control rant over. I had THE BEST celebrity sighting this weekend. Was it Mika doing his sound check at last night's concert? No. Was it Perez Hilton and Katy Perry in his VIP section? No. Was it someone at tonight's awesome Weezer concert? No, sirs and ma'ams. It was Quarry Girl! http://www.quarrygirl.com My favorite vegan blogger! I knew it was her because of some super-strength stalking skills. It was so exciting!!!
I remember why I am single now. I don't like rejection.
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