My experiment with "dating" is over. Fuck that shit.
I was just dumped for the first time in my life, kind of. I mean, I have had breakups, following fights and on and off, you're leaving I'm leaving bullshit, but this is the first "I am getting to know you and I no longer want to get to know you" sort of thing. Ouch.
Reasons cited:
1. Primary reason for "not seeing things working out" is "lifestyle differences," aka me being vegan4life and him being Bacchus, god of wine and overeating and spending money you don't have. He wants to "go to food/wine events with a girl" and "not feel bad eating steak around me" and "take me to fine dining restaurants with 5-course meals." Never did I think that what someone wants to put in their mouth would be more important than having the awesome company of me.
2. I don't like hiking and he does. Okay. When will I live in a place where not wanting to climb a mountain every weekend is not seen as a giant personality flaw? Why is everyone here so fucking hell-bent on climbing mountains? I am a human! I walk on two legs! I am not a mountain goat! So sue me!
3. Got pissed off a couple of times at him inviting me places and then not texting me back for hours. I think that's pretty reasonable, but apparently it makes me a needy bitch.
4. I got in a car accident right when we started dating and that "made things weird?" What?
So after this weird list, I asked him what the real, main thing was, and he said that I'm vegan. The night before we had Valentine's Day dinner, he asked me what the main offenders would be for eating in front of me. I said lamb, veal, foie gras, and steak. Veal and foie gras are notoriously cruel, sheep are my favorite farm animals and lamb is BABY sheep, and steak is just fucking gross for a vegan to watch people cut into. Bloody. Chewy. Ew.
The next night, we went out for Valentine's Day to Thomas Hill Organics in Paso Robles (see post below). It was WONDERFUL food, and I thought we had a great time, with one snafu. He ordered an appetizer that featured foie gras. Are you serious? Why ask me what offends me, and then order it? I asked if he was making a statement, and he said "maybe a little." Glaring and slight hounding ensues for about 5 minutes, and then we continue our meal and have a nice night. Red flag I shouldn't have ignored, I think. Not only being disrespectful, but feeling the need to make a dominant, alpha dog point. Sounds like a guy who isn't ready for a relationship.
But alas, I ignored it. Gave him the benefit of the doubt. I really liked him, and didn't want to worry about stuff like that yet. We had only been dating for a few weeks. But I guess the "foie gras" incident, and me giving him shit about it, really pissed him off.
I don't know what to think. Did I really get dumped for being vegan? It's hard to imagine someone who supposedly likes someone an awful lot to be that unwavering. Jumping the gun. That particular. That hedonistic and food-obsessed. When I date someone, I care so much more about the dynamic between me and that person -- not the external stuff. Not what they are interested in and their eating habits and all that shit. That's the outside. And I really liked this guy, and I'm hurt, but not heartbroken. Startled, confused, and dejected, that's it. It WILL be funny someday.
Not a good time to get rejected, though. Not at all.
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It sounds like he was douchey about it (really, eating foie gras in front of you? blech) but maybe he thought in the long run he couldn't come to terms with not eating the same as you even if he got along with you now (seems a little strange...). Seems like sort of contrived reasons... making excuses? Anyway, you're awesome and better than someone being that petty.
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